Tag Archives: Incineration

Live Ash

Since joining the team, Kennedy hasn’t been a stranger to fire. He hadn’t been a stranger before of course, he’s worked with blow torches and forgers in his lab, but the sensation of a burning building is unlike anything else.

When he joined the team, after Axel understandably went home, the decision to pair himself and José on the same shifts made sense.

“It’s a comfort thing, trusting your crewmates is a big part of the job, and you two know each other.”

This was very true.

He trusted José deeply. Knowing that it was him he’d be with when the transfer to Chicago hit, being a battery and having that connection made the transition feel more…homey?

Almost.

Still.

The first time they went on a call with Joshua and Declan, the heat and the embers and the determination in José’s eyes was something else. It was, frankly, a horrific first call, and as evacuations continued, he almost lost track of him.

As Josh recounted the people living in the building and aid was being administered, Kennedy heard a scream.

Then boots hitting the pavement.

Then Declan yelled after his partner.

The building wasn’t safe. Joshua didn’t let him go in after him regardless of immortality or his metal components.

It was a tense three minutes.

José would come out with a boy in his arms. His eyes would lock with Declan, and like that, they were back to it, helping the injured, putting out the fire, following the call.

From everything about that night, his processors still cycle the sound of José’s cough, and the way he hid it in his sleeve.

Josh would reprimand him after, and he would apologize to the three of them after the fact.


They spent a lot of their time before the season in the basement of the firehouse.

Justice and Baby had told him there was some industrial space for him to work on himself and other mechanical projects, and after Thomas offered up a bean bag, José would camp out while he worked. Oftentimes, he would just read, sometimes, he’d be writing in a small notebook. It was a quiet company between the bending and shaping of metal.

José wasn’t always this quiet though.

He couldn’t really place when, but it always felt like he was trying to prove himself to the team…to everyone. He didn’t need to do that, none of them needed to prove anything, they had just won a championship!

Though, all things considered, he hadn’t really processed that himself.

None of them were strangers to fire after that.

The way Burke had held Axel back sticks in his mind.

Today José brought a project, some herbs to crush, a small molcajete and several clippings from his now downsized collection. José’s interest in plants fascinated him, while he never reaped the benefits of the various plants José would give to his teammates, getting the man to talk botany was always fascinating.

When he asked him what he was grinding, José first gave him a smirk.

“Really?” Kennedy laughed, but José shook his head.

“No, it’s not that, I’m grinding some chamomile, Silvia asked for it to help her sleep.”

Kennedy smiles softly, Silvia has kept in good contact with them both over the break, “That’s really nice.”

José hums in agreement, grinding out the dried flowers into a bowl.

“Say,” Kennedy begins, “How does it help you sleep again?”


The season starts like any other, they play the game like they’re supposed to. Jaylen isn’t like that anymore, and Chicago is far enough from Seattle that they don’t play much anyhow.

Still, the edge is still there. The fear of an ump’s eyes glowing white.

He was not on the field when Miguel Wheeler died, but José was. They called it a posthumous single in the reports, and it brought José home.

Despite the chaos, the screaming and crying and management sending Case out on the field, the thing that stuck with Kennedy the most was the hollow terror in José’s eyes. He was the only one of them on the field then.

He was just too far away.


Kennedy would often find himself at games he didn’t pitch, he didn’t need recovery like the others, he could watch, he could learn, he could hope to improve.

Caleb was a good pitcher and so was Garner on the Lovers, so he sat back, he took notes, and he watched, doing his best to ignore the looming dark sky.

It was the top of three and Caleb made quick work of Horne. Ortiz walked up to bat, her usual pomp and determination.

The rest came quick.

José was running, running, running, kicking up dirt along the first base line. The snakes slithering around Ortiz’s scalp jutted back. Caleb was yelling, Josh was yelling, from the opposing dugout Triumphant was running out too.

José burns.

It’s a cloud of glowing flame and ash, Ike and Ortiz are scrambling back as the umpire is unphased.

The smoke clears and everything is tinged a radiant orange, not like fire, not like embers, unlike anything he’s ever seen before.

He stares at the grass and the dirt and the bodies covered in what remains among the ashes.

The game continues.

They lose.


It’s Wesley, who finds him hours after the game ends, sitting at home plate.

The ashes were cleaned up, Josh was the one to call Burke, and he had declined the phone.

The orange though– “What is it?”

Kennedy stared down at the earth.

“Pyrophilous spores, a type of fungi which spreads after a fire.”

Wesley doesn’t respond.

Kennedy talks anyways.

“It was the blessing, that’s when things changed. I didn’t know–”

His gears creak, he’s registering a heat malfunction.

“You can’t blame yourself Ken,” Wesley sighs, “none of us knew he would do that.”

Kennedy doesn’t feel so sure.

Still though, he looks at the spores, he remembers a late night discussion, talking about the living network of mycelium that made up mushroom growth.

He remembers what it takes for those networks to be alive.

He remembers the determination in José’s eyes.

Eventually, he and Wesley go inside.

Some spores cling to his body, the brilliant orange lingers.

Even now, he doesn’t feel alone.

Remember Him

They stay in a group.

This has been the case since they landed here. Of course, staying with the team is common, but almost everyone is in reach at a moment’s notice.

And that’s where he finds himself now. Duffy–it’s Duffy sitting next to him, his back to the ever burning massive campfire that has sustained all of them. They stare at the starless sky, and Peanut Bong finds himself staring too.

It feels weird. Being this close, he hasn’t seen him since shit–season 10? Not since the falling, not since the shadowing, not since the–

Fuck.

“Did you feel it?” He breaks the silence, Duffy’s eyes meet theirs and it almost stings.

“Feel–” Duffy pauses, closing their eyes.

“No one else knew, they didn’t remember him by the time he went.”

That wasn’t the answer he wanted.

“It hurt. It fucking stung.”

“Ruthless didn’t understand why I crumbled to my knees.”

Bong balls his fists and starts to shake.

“I don’t fucking get it!”

Duffy starts tries to talk but the fire in Bong’s eyes makes it clear to stop.

“Why did you two get to stay together?”

“I don’t know D-” Duffy’s voice cracks, a familiar swell and itch starts to scrape at his vocal cords.

Bong deflates, “I know you don’t know D.”

“Do you miss him?” Duffy asks.

“I don’t know…it feels like losing a limb. It felt different than Quitter. Aly hurt too, but fuck man.”

Duffy nods.

“He didn’t want to put down roots, like I did.”

Bong turns to him, “Yeah?”

Duffy shakes his head, “They wanted to recover, to put it to rest. They found a lot of joy in Chicago…”

Bong laughs,”and then he went to Philly.”

Duffy sighs, “And then he went to Philly.”

The two stare off into the endless distance, the fire behind them feels almost closer.

Bong leans into him, Duffy relaxes into his warmth.

“Fuck you for leaving me, both of you.”

“I missed you too.”

“I’m glad you remember him.”

“I’m glad you remember him too.”

Bong raises an imaginary glass, “To Holloway “

“To Holloway”

Commemorate

Just before season 15, there’s a practice day, and Lucy is called to Sam’s office.

She checks her locker like any other morning once she gets to the stadium, and there’s a pristine, clean slice of strawberry rhubarb sitting on a gilded plate, resting on her scripts and books.

She doesn’t move to remove it, she glances around a moment, but before she can speak up. Eduardo is looking at her, shaking his head, and her mouth falls shut.

Walking up to her, Eddie shuts the locker quietly, while he cannot sigh, his eyes flicker, and a comforting metal hand meets her forearm.

“Go up to Sam’s office. This means business.”

Lucy doesn’t have any questions, she knows, at least, some about the manager of the team, she has at least seen him once, on the day she signed. The stories about him are tense, she even fondly remembers Jessica calling him a number of expletives at some point during a visit. Regardless, the Philly Pies take business as seriously as they do winning, and this is no jovial manner.

Lucy smiles at Eduardo, “Thank you dear.”

Eddie nods at her, letting his arm fall, “see you soon.”

So she goes. Heels clacking up stairs, the piece of pie in her hands still as pristine as ever, by the time she makes it to Sam’s gilded door, she’s putting on that practiced smile. This is no worse than any audition room, certainly no worse than any directors meeting, she knows she will be fine.

She knocks and the door opens wide. Sam is sitting there, and he grins.

“Ms. Tokkan, take a seat.”

She walks in, and does as asked, “What can I do for you Mr. H-”

“Sam is fine dear,” he cuts her off, “I’d just like to talk about your place on the team.”

Oh.

Oh dear.

Lucy paints a smile.

“What can I do for you? Am I pitching or batting?”

“Neither actually,” Sam perches his elbows on the table, resting his head in his hands, “developmental has determined you aren’t quite ready yet, but in due time all things work out.”

She’s not playing.

What does he want?

“Do you have another role in mind for me?”

Sam’s wide grin creeps into view and Lucy just keeps herself from shuttering.

“From my understanding, you’ve been spending quite some time in the Piebrary, is that correct?”

Lucy nods, “Yes, I thought I’d test out the cherry pie recipes.”

Sam’s nostrils flare, he looks almost delighted, “Not everyone has a pension for baking like you do dear. Amazing on the stage, amazing in the kitchen, you even got perfect marks in mortuary school.”

Lucy’s smiling performance slides off of her face in an instant.

“Those records are private.”

Sam keeps grinning, “Nothing stays private forever dear, which was quite fortunate for me.”

Lucy’s lip twitches, she cocks her head and closes her eyes before asking the question one more time, “What can I do for you?”

Sam sits back. He’s clearly satisfied getting under her skin. “I need you to help in concessions. I believe you know about our commemorative pies.”

She blanches a bit, remembering the gaudy advertising about ashes.

Ashes.

Wait.

“You’ll have a special role that unfortunately the previous holder is unable to fill.”

Lucy’s lips are tight.

“You’ll be responsible for assuring everything surrounding those pies is perfect of course, and if any new recipes are to come of this, I’m sure you’ll be fantastic at figuring it out.”

Lucy feels faint, she needs out of this office. Now.

“I understand.”

Sam stands up, he’s walking to the door. When did the door close? She’s standing now too.

“I’m happy to see you undertake this position Ms. Tokkan, and I trust you won’t let me down?”

She puts on that smile again, “Of course Sam.”

He nods, “Good.”

He leads her out the door before shutting it in on himself, and Lucy stands in the hall alone.


She’s done it.

She never knew any of them, not really, Eddie or Lang or even Bright will talk about them.

She didn’t know them.

But she knows their faces.

Genetic material and technology she doesn’t understand is one hell of a baking technique and time after time again the racks are stocked with peach and apple and Mississippi mud and gooseberry and coconut cream and Lucy has never loathed the smell of sugar and fruit more in her life until now.

She does this, without fail because what else is there to do when the man upstairs expects this task done expertly.

She was even briefed, as much as a big black “recipe book” can brief a person about handling ashen remains in a culinary setting and what to do when the umps target someone new.

It’s been seasons though.

Yeong-Ho died before she was here.

Just like in school, she doesn’t let the grief hit her. Maybe it was the years of exposure, maybe it’s the acting classes she secretly paid for during college. She’s fine.


Getting called to pitch is a saving grace. She’s elbow deep in the crust when she gets the fax, and she knows damn well when she walks out onto the field shades of Mickey Woods gray are probably smudged across her face.

She does well.

Sam has not reassigned the task, she works on the days she doesn’t pitch.

Lang jokes about bags under her eyes and she punches him.

She is tired. The faces of the dead come in waves. This is why she went to acting, the faces haunted her then too, she never had to hold their hands then.

Maybe she’s hoping for the end of the world.

She’s never been a fan of comedy.


Bright burns.

In all the seasons she knew the girl, in all the seasons she didn’t, she knew that Philly was her home, even if it didn’t love her back.

Ruslan and Eduardo stare at her when she sweeps up the ashes. They try to tell her there’s no point and the glare she gives them both sends them turning heel. She bags them up. She does not bake.

Eddie knew about her task, eventually, after a particularly bad game, she confided in the metal man.

Both of them thought the last bit of her training would never come to fruition.

Pie or die and no one had died in a long long time.

But here she is holding the ashes of a girl in her locker refusing to use them for their expected purpose. They haven’t heard from Sam all season, and there sure as hell isn’t anyone in the stands itching for a Bright themed snack.

Day 67 and Lucy feels sick from all of the gaudy pink. San Francisco is still hot without the sun and worse with the supernova, but when Holloway leaves scorches in the grass, she’s out on the field before anyone else can catch her.

Eddie is trying to pull her back, he’s yelling at her, what the fuck are you going to do with those ashes with no mouths to feed, there’s no demand at the end of the world.

This isn’t about the pies in the concessions or her duty to the boss, in everything she has done from long before taking the field, in those damn classes that got her into this mess, she understood how important it was to not let these ashes go forgotten.

She doesn’t answer Eddie’s question. She doesn’t write recipes. She fashions urns out of emptied flour and sugar cans. After every single Mickey and Cedric and Juan and Forest and Hobbs and Yeong-Ho it’s the bare fucking minimum she can do.

She asks herself if saving the two of them makes up for it all, what she’s become.

Day 79, she doesn’t get her answer.